didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
