I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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