I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Randomize
