I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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