I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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