I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
