Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
