absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
