He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
