I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
