i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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