it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
