I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it đ
He sang the chorus to âInside of youâ by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldnât even be mad, that probably took talent
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