we have pet lesbian snakes
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
