You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
love makes seman taste better
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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