You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Randomize
