I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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