I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
