Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
well you can't waste a boner
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
