how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
