He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
