I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
