Define "chronic" masturbator.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
