Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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