Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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