we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
