I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
