i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
