btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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