he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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