Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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