I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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