there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
