so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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