so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
