i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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