Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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