and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Damn victory sex feels great
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
