We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
