last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Just invented taco cereal.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
