Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
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