Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
