Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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