New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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