Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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