WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
