Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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