I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
