Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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