She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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