I skipped work to stalk him.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
