kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
