Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
