i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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